Poems, Prayers and Promises

Seven Degrees of Blondes
FIRST DEGREE> >A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.> >The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment> >and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.> >The husband said, "Who was that?"> >The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is> >clear."> > > >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:> >,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*> >
SECOND DEGREE> >Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on> >the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the> >mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."> >The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"> >So the first blonde hands her the compact.> >The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"> >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-> >_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*> >
THIRD DEGREE> >A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and> >buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens> >the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is> >reallyangry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,> >she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.> >The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, >"Shut> >up, you're next!"> >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:> >_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*> >
FOURTH DEGREE> >A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.> >She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."> >A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"> >The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."> >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:> >_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*> >
FIFTH DEGREE> >What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?> >"Is it mine?"> >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:> >_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*> >
SIXTH DEGREE> >Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US> >government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.> >Wade was about.> >Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision> >George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."> >`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:> >_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*> >
SEVENTH DEGREE> >Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house> >Ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported> >the crime.> >The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,> >patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached> >the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,> >shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the> >steps.> >> >Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my> >possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?> >They send me a BLIND policeman."